Dominus Illuminatio Mea

   I still can't believe that it actually happened. It's been a week and it still feels like I'm dreaming. Maybe writing it all down on this blog will make it seem more real to me. So, I had my Carey Mulligan a la 'An Education' moment. I got into Dream Uni. And I can finally admit that Dream Uni is the University of Oxford. Yup, THE Oxford.

  I've talked about my interview experience on here but I'd like to explain how this dream came about. I decided that I was going to apply to Oxford at the end of Year 11. I'd visited the university and a few of its colleges on a Gifted & Talented trip with my school and I'd fallen in love instantly, especially with Pembroke College. I knew I'd be applying for a degree that had French in it as French was the subject that I was best at, it was also the subject that I enjoyed the most and I'd done my GCSE French two years early in Year 9, giving me an advantage.

  My GCSE results were okay. But I got a bit cocky in Year 12 and thought I could handle five essay based AS subjects: French, English Lit, History, Religious Studies (or Philosophy) and Economics. It turned out to be one of the worst mistakes that I've ever made. I was very very stressed throughout the year (my GP even told me that I was getting ill as a result of my academic stress), I started going grey, I rarely had free periods and I was buried under essays. I probably could have handled it all but in Year 12, I was also committed to many non-academic things such as theatre productions outside school, a part-time job, sport (Netball), volunteering at a local magazine, organising and being co-president of the newly formed Humanitarian Society in my school and so on. Stress central! To top it all, I was having difficulties in French, the subject that I'd always been so confident in as I was the first (and only) student to take it for A Level in my school. So, the department was highly disorganised, I went through about six teachers in the year as they didn't have a clue on the course and I didn't actually get a textbook until about January.

  Due to all of the aforementioned factors, my AS grades were...alright but at BBBBC, they were far from what I wanted. I cried and sulked a lot, especially because I'd gotten a B in French, a subject that had been my forte. After being bitter for a long time, I prayed a lot and Jeremiah 29:11 became my mantra: "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I started to see that God had a plan and my AS grades were a way of humbling me; they made me realise even more that God knows my future, not me.

  With all this in mind, I dropped History and RS and took English Lit, French and Economics to A Level. Year 13 French was a lot better than Year 12 as I got to spend all my lessons at the local Boys school, where the teaching was more structured and organised. The teachers were very supportive and I made a lot of good friends. Even though my AS grades were below the usual Oxbridge applicant standard, I still decided to chase my dream and apply to Pembroke College, Oxford, for English and French.

  As I mentioned here, I was unsuccessful for the English part and I only got offered an interview for French. Again, this was God working as even I know that I'm much better in French than English and for someone who stresses easily like me, a joint degree is perhaps not the best idea. Here, I mention how the interview went and it was here that I talked about when I received an offer in January.

  Fast forward to A Level Results Day last week. I couldn't sleep, I was petrified, nervous, sick, the lot. My insurance was Southampton but my heart was so set on Pembroke. I was shaking as I logged into Track at around half 7 in the morning and I screamed and cried when I saw, "Congratulations! Your place at Oxford University O33 for French R110 has been confirmed." To make things even better, my sister, Tai, got a last minute offer from UEA for MEDICINE on that same day and she tells her incredible story here.

  So, the A Level chapter of my life has come to an end and I shall be beginning higher education in October. I want to leave you guessing so I'm afraid I'm not going to say what I got in my A Levels. Sorry, that shall be my little secret for now. Maybe I'll share one day. Maybe.

  I'd better wrap up this post. It is called 'dominus illuminatio mea' as that is Oxford's motto. It comes from Psalm 27 in the Bible and it means 'The Lord is my light'. For me, this is even more proof that God has been helping me throughout this journey. He has been the light at the end of the dark and long tunnel that is A Levels and without Him, none of this would have been possible.

  To you, reader, never give up on your dreams. God has plans for you and He will make all the seemingly impossible things possible. God bless.

PS- Here is a fun Pembroke College fact: J.R.R Tolkien was a fellow there from 1925-1945 and he wrote the first two books of The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit during his time there. Maybe I'll write my soon to be award winning trilogy. 'The Lady of the Bracelets' during my time at Pembroke....