Why I don't date.

   As today is Valentine's Day, I think it is an appropriate occasion for me to state the reasons why I don't believe in dating at this age. I find that many people my age only want relationships to conform to society and be like everyone else. I genuinely laugh out loud every time I see a status on Facebook like 'So lonely need sum1' or 'I love my baby more than anything in the world, don't need anyone else' etc. If you consistently jump from one relationship to another, claiming to 'love' each person, then you don't really know what love is. Don't even get me started on this new trend of 'seeing someone'. I find that people are blurring the lines nowadays between lust, which can mean being attracted to someone (sometimes sexually) for their physical appearances and love.

  This is going to sound completely cynical and pessimistic but most teenage relationships do not last and they can be pointless. Here's a scenario: boy and girl start going out at the age of 14. If they're lucky, they'll continue going out till about the age of 18 (which is really rare) and then when it is time to go to university, they will break up, leaving unnecessary heartbreak and pain that could have been avoided if they didn't go out in the first place. I've seen this happen. What is even worse about teenage relationships is that they can even hinder you in life. Another scenario: girl goes out with a boy that is older than her by about a year. The girl is very intelligent but the boy is mediocre and and chooses not to go to university. Due to becoming all about her boyfriend, the girl's grades at school begin to suffer and even though she could get into numerous top universities, she decides not to go because she wants to stay with the boy, ruining her life in the long run. And get this, the boy lets her do this because it is unspoken between them that if she decides to go, he will break up with her. I've also seen this happen. Is this love?

  Academic reasons aside, I also think that relationships at a young age can tempt you into doing things that you should not. As a Christian, I don't believe in sex before marriage but if you start dating too young, it would be easy to get carried away and do 'things', using 'love' to justify them. People will say that I am prudish (they have) but I would rather be respected for my innocence than to be known as a girl with loose morals. As I spend most of my time in an all Boys school (long story), I have seen for myself the lack of respect that the other sex have for girls that they call 'sluts', but I digress.

  I'm not claiming to be this rock of strength and refusal when it comes to relationships. I have been asked out a few times and there are times when I really really want to say yes because I really really like the boy. Notice I say like and not love. I can honestly say that I am 17 and I still don't know what love is. Is it admiring someone for their brilliance, intelligence and 'Perfection'? Is it wanting to kiss someone when you see them or thinking that a person is extremely good looking? I don't even know.

  What I do know is that I will grow as a person and learn for myself the true meaning of love. I won't rush into relationships now and do 'things' that I'll later regret just to be like everyone else. As a teenager, life without your boyfriend/ girlfriend might seem impossible but you are young and still have so much to do, many experiences to have and so many other people to meet. When I am ready to settle down and get married, that is when I shall have a relationship. Another thing that hinders me from dating now is that I am very picky and I've read a lot of epic romances so maybe deep down, I am probably still waiting for my own Mr Darcy. Ha. Well, I will wait for him and when I do decide to find him, he'll be great.

 Again, everything here is what I personally think and you can choose to agree or disagree with me. The amazing poet, Janette Ikz (who I met two years ago and it was AWESOME!) eloquently says all I've tried to say. Happy Valentine's Day.