The Privilege Games.

    I go to Oxford University. Oxford University is a university that has a lot of students from privileged backgrounds. According to recent figures, 56.8% of UK undergraduates at my university come from state schools, which is actually quite low, considering how the independent sector only educates around 6.5% of the total number of school children in England.

  In the past, whilst at university, people tried to play up their wealth and privilege as much as possible because in those days, wealth and privilege meant a higher status at the university. However, the opposite seems to be happening today. This is because due to films such as 'The Riot Club', TV shows like 'Harrow: A Very British School', and the 'Old Boys Club' that seems to dominate UK politics, an 'other-worldly' vibe is ascribed to private and public schools. Therefore, there is a kind of stigma attached to them nowadays, that is not unlike the stigma in the past that came with coming from an 'unknown' school and being a 'poor' student, in a literal sense.

   As a result of this, phrases like "Yeah, I went to a private school but it was a really crap one" and "My school was really bad; it only sends about 10 people to Oxford a year" are thrown around a lot. There are many reasons why phrases like that really irk me whenever  hear them.
 
  I was the first student in my school's history to get into Oxford, and one of less than twenty people from the school to ever make it into a Russell Group university. It can be very frustrating to hear ex-private school students talk about how hard things were for them in their schools that were and still are always in the top fifty in league tables. "My school only offered three languages at A Level." I was the first student in my school to choose a language for A Level and I had to work out of a 2001 OCR textbook for a few months, even though I was sitting the 2013 AQA exam...the struggle was so real. "The teacher who ran my Oxford mock interview for Law was rubbish; she did History at Cambridge!" The career's adviser at my school strongly encouraged students to only apply to universities that accepted UCAS points, and not grades, as that was all she believed that students from my school could achieve.

   I could go on and on about how bad things were for me at school and how the fact that I made it into Oxford without the opportunities that my private and public school educated friends had is a miracle. However, I'd be lying if I don't own up to some of my own privileges, privileges that helped me get to where I am today.

  I lived in Nigeria until I was nine years old and I went to a private school. Although the private schools in Nigeria are not the same calibre as those in the UK, I was still part of an elite few, and the excellent quality of my early Nigerian education played a big role in me being able to excel in my UK primary and secondary schools. My parents paid for more than ten years of music lessons and youth theatre, which increased my confidence growing up and all those years of confidence boosting exercises enabled me to give a strong and confident performance in my Oxford interview. All those years spent at the theatre introduced me to numerous plays, operas, ballets and even classic films, and I can hold my own in discussions at formal dinners, when such topics arise in 'small talk' with tutors and peers.

  So, from all that, it's evident that things were not all bad for me. What's the point of all this, then, you ask? I think it's important that we all accept our privileges and we should never try to downplay them. It's also very important to check your privilege at all times, and this is something that I'm still trying to get better at myself. There are people out there who have had things much worse than you and they will definitely get annoyed if you try to make light of their situations by turning things back to yourself all the time. Don't put others on a pedestal just because they went to a certain school. This is something that I personally feel very strongly about because as Eleanor Roosevelt once said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." With this in mind, it is important to remember that nobody is automatically a better person because of the school that they went to, be it a rubbish comprehensive or a 'posh' public school. Treat everyone equally and if you ever hear someone talking about how bad their situation might be/ might have been/ is, resist the urge to say, "Oh, but things were/are so worse for me!" As cringey as it sounds, just listen to them. Listen, instead of making comparisons and maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to start having constructive discussions regarding how to do something about the various privileges that separate people and impede equality.

Je Suis Charlie.

   Yesterday, the Paris office of French satirical newspaper was attacked by masked gunmen. Twelve people were killed, two police officers and some of the best cartoonists in France included. According to the media and various sources, the attack was a terrorist attack from Islamic extremists who were angered at the newspaper's constant depictions of their prophet. The terrifying thing is that two of the men have not yet been found.

  The attacks launched a wide range of comments and reactions worldwide and on the internet. Many world leaders, including Obama and Cameron, have already weighed in, condemning the horrific actions of the gunmen, cartoonists around the world have produced many heartbreaking images to show their solidarity for their fallen peers and the online debates are plentiful.

copyright Jean Jullien 2015

  Some people believe that the actions of the gunmen was an attack against the fundamental human right that is freedom of speech and expression. Others believe that the deaths of the twelve were horrific but it is important to remember that a lot of the things that were published in Charlie Hebdo were often homophobic, misogynistic and anti-religion (especially Islam and the Catholic Church), spreading negative stereotypes of the religion.

  When I first heard the news, I was incredibly shaken. Paris is one of my favourite cities in the world and I'm going to be moving there in October for a year. I'm even hoping to do a bit of journalistic work whilst out there. I spent most of yesterday watching the news and reading articles on what was unfolding and after a lot of thought, I decided to share 'Je Suis Charlie' on Twitter and Instagram. Here's why I did so.

  I am a huge believer in freedom of expression. As someone with a diary/journal, a blog, who writes reviews and hopes to even be a critic one day, I believe that it is very important to be given the freedom to share your own opinion and critique things. However, due to my own personal beliefs, I also believe that there is a fine line between freedom of expression and being rude/ offensive. You can have an opinion on something, but you have to be considerate about the views and opinions of others.

 So, when I shared 'Je Suis Charlie', I was not condoning or agreeing with everything that Charlie Hebdo has ever published. I shared it because even though people might hold opinions that others consider offensive, it is NOT right to kill people for their opinions. This will NEVER be okay. I shared it in solidarity with the victims, their families and the whole of France. I believe that we are all Charlie because we all have opinions and what happened to those poor cartoonists could happen to anyone, myself included, if we start policing the opinions of people, and the world will be a very awful place indeed if we descend to that.

  It really pains me that hateful people and organisations such as Nigel Farage and Britain First are using this awful incident to spread their own negative agendas that support racism and are against multiculturalism and integration. It is NOT right to condemn a whole community for the evil actions of a few culprits and this idea can be applied to many things. So, enough of the hate. La haine attire la haine (hate attracts hate).

  Je suis Charlie et je suis totalement pour la liberté d'expression. May the victims rest in peace.

Christmas 2014

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6).

 People have a tendency to get fixated on material things when it comes to Christmas. I scrolled through my Facebook and Instagram feeds this morning and most of the pictures were uploads from people showing off the presents that they had received. This is not what Christmas is about. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ, who was sent to die for our sins so that we can have grace and the hope of eternal life when the end comes. And I personally think that this is so incredible.

  I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about this particular subject. Jesus himself was born in a stable and slept in a manger, which is pretty much as low as things could get back then. He didn't have much but He was surrounded by love and family. I stayed behind in college at the end of term again and those lonely weeks made me realise that for Christmas, all I want is to be with my family, surrounded by love, as cringey and corny as that sounds. And this year, I got exactly that. 

 About a month ago, when my Mum asked me to give her the list of what I wanted for Christmas, I had nothing to present. This is because for the first time in my life. I am truly content. This picture accurately sums up exactly how I'm feeling (read 'Santa' as God :):

    Merry Christmas, one and all :)

I failed.

  So, even after amending one of my New Year's Resolutions of blogging at least once a week, I still failed. I seriously underestimated how busy and intense the first term of my second year at university would be and I can honestly say that those ten weeks were the busiest weeks of my life. Going into Year 2 as an Access Officer, a Christian Union Rep, and Netball captain, as well as trying to keep on top of a pesky little thing known as a degree was....difficult. I've had a lot of fun though and the only thing that I will change next term is my organisational skills, so that I'll be able to balance and take on more things. I've learned a lot of things this term:

1) It is still important to speak now.

2) The true meaning of this scene.

3) Dealing with grief is a very difficult thing.

4) Dealing with your morals being attacked can be very very difficult as well.

5) It is important to become more engaged at university.

6) Truuuueeee friends (as ma gal HM sings) are still awesome.

Morals and literature.

   I had the worst tutorial ever yesterday. Do you want to know what was worse than the fact that I wasn't feeling well and the pitying looks from my lovely tutorial partner? The fact that I cried even though I tried really hard to hold it all in and my tutor could see that I was crying. And yet, she didn't relent in her attack.

  This weeks essay was on seventeenth century French tragedy, so the likes of Corneille and Racine. My tutor said a lot of things but the main thing that brought on the waterworks was the fact that she implied that my personal morals get in the way of me analysing literature 'correctly'. Ouch. This is probably one of the worst things that a tutor has ever said to me. I cried and I was in a low place for quite a while because my morals are a huge part of who I am. I wouldn't be who I am today without my morals or my beliefs. Am I expected to go against my beliefs and upbringing just to get a 1st of a 2.i?

  Her harsh words made me reflect a lot on exactly why I chose to a degree where literature is a huge component. I love literature. I love reading. I even love writing essays. I love all of these things because unlike with the sciences for example, there isn't one exact answer. Literature and texts can be analysed and read in so many different ways and I find this so exciting, as nerdy as it sounds. I love reading because I love learning more about different times and cultures, empathising with them and seeing what I can learn from them. If this means that I am not reading literature in the right way, then I am not sorry.

  It took me a long time to reach this conclusion. Heck, I was even going to apologise to my tutor for crying in the tutorial. Tough words from my friends made me realise that this was not the right thing to do. It is not okay to attack someone's personal morals. Not okay at all, no matter who you are. You cannot tell someone how to read. Everyone connects with literature in a different way, One should not undermine someone else's interpretation just because it is different from theirs.

  I'm not going to change my morals just to get a first. So, future Kenny, the next time your views are destroyed in a tutorial, don't cry. Defend your views and fight back.

EDIT- The tutor apologised for making me cry in my next tutorial with her. 

A letter to one of my bestfriends.

"I love you, I just don't like you anymore."
 
   This scene from 'One Day' has always made me feel sad. I saw the film about two years ago and although the scene moved me, I could never really understand how it is possible to love someone but dislike them at the same time. That was then. Now, I fully understand what Emma meant.

  Everyone loves their bestfriends, right? Your bestfriends know you better than other mere acquaintances. They know what makes you tick, share your interests, know how to cheer you up when you're feeling down, know the things that you stand for and believe in, as well as your hopes and dreams and aspirations. Bestfriends become your family away from your family, kind of like your home away from home and you know that they'll always have your back.

  Then, how does this dislike come in, you ask? It starts to seep in when this bestfriend, the one who knows what makes you tick begins to subtly insult you every now and them. He'll claim it's just 'banter' and 'friendly teasing', but banter can only last so long. Is it 'banter' for your bestfriend to repeatedly mock the way that you talk, the Nigerian/British/American accent that you can't help because you grew up bilingual and spent the first half of your life living in another country? Is it 'banter' for your bestfriend to repeatedly put down your beliefs, going as far as to imply that there is a 'negative correlation' between intelligence and having a faith, even though he knows that these beliefs make you who you are? Is it 'banter' for your bestfriend to repeatedly suggest that he is better prepared for the world than you are because he went to a private school and you went to a state school? Is it 'banter' for your bestfriend to repeatedly make disparaging remarks about those that you know who give blood and are dyslexic, for example?

  Dear bestfriend, I love you, I really do but I'm afraid if this continues, I'll start to dislike you and this dislike might even become hate and I really don't want this to happen. How can I prevent this from happening? I'll stop bottling things up and I'll start calling you out when you say things that are not okay or PC. Please don't see this as me attacking you. I only want to save our friendship and save you from alienating me and others. Thanks and speak soon.

Trueeee friends!

  Aristotle said that "friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies." Deep stuff, huh? These first few weeks back at uni have been so so stressful but due to the stress, I've been reflecting a lot on what true friendship means to me and the different ways that I have seen it so far this term.

  True friends are the ones that will come to your room at 2am in the morning to keep you entertained and to let you know that you're not alone in your essay crisis. True friends are the ones that will buy KitKat Chunkies during their weekly shopping trips for you to have when you come to visit them in their rooms because they know that those are the chocolates that you love the most. True friends are the ones that will swap cleaning days with you so that you can get to have a lie in on your only day off. True friends are the ones that will bring oranges to you when you're not feeling well. True friends are the ones that will offer to help you with organising an event even though they're in an essay crisis. True friends are the ones that will offer to play Netball for you at the last minute when other people bail on you.

  I could go on and on but I'll draw to a close here, To all the friends that have been there for me these past few weeks, thank you. As Clarence Odbody said in 'It's A Wonderful Life', "No man is a failure who has friends."