After nearly three weeks working at a telethon, I now see myself as a bit of an expert in this particular area so I decided to create the Kenny guide to surviving a telethon.
1) Have a nap before your shift.
2) Wake up ten minutes before your shift, freak out and question what made you sign up for this.
3) Speed walk to the telethon centre to some sick choons, hating life more and more with each step you take.
4) Waste 15- 20 minutes 'making tea' and eating biscuits with your fellow colleagues, taking comfort in the fact that you have each other in facing this ordeal.
5) Spend five minutes walking to your desk that is less than ten feet away when your boss eventually tells you to start working.
6) Use a further 10-15 minutes to 'boot your laptop' and 'prepare' for your first call.
7) Ah, two voice mails in a row? You're really working hard! You deserve a tea/ biscuit break.
8) After spending more than half an hour talking to an alumnus that decides to make a small one-off donation, you've truly earned another 10/15 minutes for a 'break' and prep time.
9) Repeat steps 7 and 8 until the shift ends.
10) After the shift, head back to college for a compulsory moaning and complaining session with the rest of your colleagues about the shift and share weird moments that you had over the phone.
Disclaimer- Kenny is not liable if any of these steps get you fired.
Sunday, 30 March 2014
Wednesday, 12 March 2014
I, too, am Oxford.
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| Photo: itooamoxford.tumblr.com |
I'm sure most of you have probably heard of the 'I, too, am Harvard' campaign and the campaigns in Oxford, Cambridge, SOAS and King's that followed as a result, to name a few. Basically, students of ethnic minorities at these universities did a series of photographs holding up boards that highlighted the day to day micro-aggressions that they faced. There are many reasons why I decided to get involved with the one at Oxford. One of them was due to the 'too black' incident, another was the fact that I think at places like my university, there are many ignorant people who are unaware of how insulting their one-off comments can be and campaigns like these are vital in opening their eyes. Also, I wanted to send out a message that the days of 'door mat Kenny' are long, long over and I really think that my university needs to start talking about race and issues like under representation.
I'm also sure that most of you have also heard of the 'We Are All Oxford' campaign that launched as a counter campaign to 'I, too, am Oxford'. Although they claimed that they weren't undermining our campaign, sadly, that is exactly what they did. They claimed that their campaign was necessary in order to show the 'full picture' to potential candidates, that discrimination is rare at Oxford and that the university 'selects on academic excellence'. What really bugged me about their claims is the fact that they completely missed the point and by doing this, they proved exactly why 'I, too, am Oxford' was needed. Nobody is saying that Oxford does not select based on academic excellence. In fact, I think future applicants would be more put off by WAAO's whitewash campaign. Personally, I would feel more comfortable applying to a university where the students stood up for themselves and spoke out against prejudice than one where students tried to pretend that all was fine. This made me laugh- http://weareallawful.tumblr.com/
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| Photo: itooamoxford.tumblr.com |
Also, WHY is Access always brought up when ethnic minorities at top universities are discussed? That's another thing/ fail that bugged me about WAAO. Sure, Access Schemes are great but it is very wrong and presumptuous to assume that all POC are at a top university on an Access Scheme, and that's why I put it on my board. Sadly, yet again, it was someone very close to me that asked me that question and she didn't even know that her words had offended me.
I keep going on about WAAO because the whole campaign just really irritated me and what made it worse was the fact that I know the girl that was the brains behind it all. Everyone's experience of race and prejudice is subjective so I really don't approve when others try to undermine it and say "Well, I don't find that racist" or "That doesn't sound racist to me." Racism is no longer the segregation and Jim Crow laws of the 1960s but it now consists of little micro-aggressions and asides that one should not ignore. It is best to speak now and let your friends know if you're not comfortable with their words. I am so glad that the campaign got picked up by major news outlets such as the BBC, BuzzFeed, Guardian, Telegraph, Huffington Post etc. I've even been stopped on the streets and in clubs because of it and all of my friends have reacted so positively to it.I think the campaign has really opened up their eyes to certain things that are not okay to say to POC and I am so happy that I contributed to it.
I, too, am Oxford and I worked my butt off to get to where I am and I will never ever be made to feel inferior ever again.
PS- I recently found out that my friend, Leo, stalks 'reads' my blog. This is a shout out to Leo and his stalker self x
Wednesday, 5 March 2014
"Too Black."
Tonight, I was angry. I was very angry at myself for letting something slide without comment. Now, I am not so angry. I guess to fully explain why I was so angry, I'd better start at the beginning.
Before I started at my university last year, I knew that I'd be a minority due to being black. I knew this because I hardly saw any black people during the interview process and I also knew this due to how taken aback many black people that I knew looked whenever I told them the name of my university. Unlike what the press *coughDAILYMAILcough* would have you believe, this is not the university's fault. I've seen for myself the sad fact that many gifted people of colour decide against applying to my university because they feel like the university establishment itself will look down on them due to their backgrounds and ethnicities. Some people also fear that they will be totally ostracised from the 'posh, rich' people, feel totally alone and alien and that they will not be accepted or fit in. For a very long time, I have tried my best to dispel these rumours in order to prove that this view of the university is false. I have never felt lonely or been made to feel different because of the colour of my skin. However, this all changed tonight.
At dinner, I was sat with someone that I've always seen as one of the people that I'm closest to in my college and we were discussing a club night that the African Caribbean Society is planning for students. My friend then announced that she would not be attending the event as it was "too black" for her. I laughed in disbelief as I couldn't quite believe that I'd heard right and then I said nothing. Nothing.
After dinner, I came back to my room and I just couldn't get her words out of my mind. Too black. Too black. What the heck does that mean? Is there a certain quota of 'black' that I need to be, a quota that's not too much that will make me acceptable to her and others? Am I only accepted because I am supposed to act in a way that some would call 'oreo', that makes people forget that I am of African origin? I thought about all the different things that I could have said to her at the dinner table, words that came belatedly, words that would have let her know that her statement sounded rude and racist and that was when I started crying.
For the first time in my life, I felt completely alone. I always joke about how I'm one of the two black people in college but I can say that I've never felt the loneliness of being a minority until tonight. Her words, "too black",made me feel unwanted, and that it was wrong of me to want to participate in events that celebrate my culture. I also felt like I had betrayed myself and my people by not saying anything and that made me cry even more. I sought advice from a friend, one of the kindest and sweetest souls that I've ever met and my sister and they both convinced me that I had to tell her how much her words had hurt.
After much dilly- dallying, I eventually went to her room, approximately two hours after the incident,and I told her. She had no idea that her words could have been interpreted in a racist way and she seemed genuinely apologetic and contrite. I've forgiven her as I believe that she honestly chose the wrong way to express that she was not into RnB music and I hope our friendship will remain intact, God willing.
So, my long tale has come to an end. I learned a lot from tonight. 1) The best advice and friendships come from the unlikeliest of people (I love you with a fiery passion, Hazza D x). 2) Never, EVER be afraid of speaking out if something has upset you. It is better to speak now and save a friendship than to let things bottle up and explode later on down the line, ruining a friendship irrevocably. 3) I really, REALLY need to stop being such 'doormat' as my good friend Hazza D puts it. I need to man up and stop relying on my sister to fight my battles for me.
Why was I so affected by her words? I guess it was just the shock of something like that coming from someone that was supposed to be a good friend. I was also still reeling from this article that I'd recently read, and as my university is similar to that one, I was worried that I was losing my 'voice'.
I want to end by saying that there is definitely no such thing as being "too black", be it with tastes or physical appearance. Also, despite what happened tonight, I still stand by the view that my university is a safe and welcoming place for people of colour and I will not let the careless words of one person take away the fact that many others accept and love me exactly as I am.
Before I started at my university last year, I knew that I'd be a minority due to being black. I knew this because I hardly saw any black people during the interview process and I also knew this due to how taken aback many black people that I knew looked whenever I told them the name of my university. Unlike what the press *coughDAILYMAILcough* would have you believe, this is not the university's fault. I've seen for myself the sad fact that many gifted people of colour decide against applying to my university because they feel like the university establishment itself will look down on them due to their backgrounds and ethnicities. Some people also fear that they will be totally ostracised from the 'posh, rich' people, feel totally alone and alien and that they will not be accepted or fit in. For a very long time, I have tried my best to dispel these rumours in order to prove that this view of the university is false. I have never felt lonely or been made to feel different because of the colour of my skin. However, this all changed tonight.
At dinner, I was sat with someone that I've always seen as one of the people that I'm closest to in my college and we were discussing a club night that the African Caribbean Society is planning for students. My friend then announced that she would not be attending the event as it was "too black" for her. I laughed in disbelief as I couldn't quite believe that I'd heard right and then I said nothing. Nothing.
After dinner, I came back to my room and I just couldn't get her words out of my mind. Too black. Too black. What the heck does that mean? Is there a certain quota of 'black' that I need to be, a quota that's not too much that will make me acceptable to her and others? Am I only accepted because I am supposed to act in a way that some would call 'oreo', that makes people forget that I am of African origin? I thought about all the different things that I could have said to her at the dinner table, words that came belatedly, words that would have let her know that her statement sounded rude and racist and that was when I started crying.
For the first time in my life, I felt completely alone. I always joke about how I'm one of the two black people in college but I can say that I've never felt the loneliness of being a minority until tonight. Her words, "too black",made me feel unwanted, and that it was wrong of me to want to participate in events that celebrate my culture. I also felt like I had betrayed myself and my people by not saying anything and that made me cry even more. I sought advice from a friend, one of the kindest and sweetest souls that I've ever met and my sister and they both convinced me that I had to tell her how much her words had hurt.
After much dilly- dallying, I eventually went to her room, approximately two hours after the incident,and I told her. She had no idea that her words could have been interpreted in a racist way and she seemed genuinely apologetic and contrite. I've forgiven her as I believe that she honestly chose the wrong way to express that she was not into RnB music and I hope our friendship will remain intact, God willing.
So, my long tale has come to an end. I learned a lot from tonight. 1) The best advice and friendships come from the unlikeliest of people (I love you with a fiery passion, Hazza D x). 2) Never, EVER be afraid of speaking out if something has upset you. It is better to speak now and save a friendship than to let things bottle up and explode later on down the line, ruining a friendship irrevocably. 3) I really, REALLY need to stop being such 'doormat' as my good friend Hazza D puts it. I need to man up and stop relying on my sister to fight my battles for me.
Why was I so affected by her words? I guess it was just the shock of something like that coming from someone that was supposed to be a good friend. I was also still reeling from this article that I'd recently read, and as my university is similar to that one, I was worried that I was losing my 'voice'.
I want to end by saying that there is definitely no such thing as being "too black", be it with tastes or physical appearance. Also, despite what happened tonight, I still stand by the view that my university is a safe and welcoming place for people of colour and I will not let the careless words of one person take away the fact that many others accept and love me exactly as I am.
Friday, 28 February 2014
Ma main man, Sartre.
This week was an especially busy one for Kenny! I was on the marketing team for a college production; we put on a double bill of French absurdist plays in translation- 'Le Malentendu' (The Misunderstanding) by Albert Camus and 'Huis Clos' (No Exit) by Jean-Paul Sartre. Marketing turned out to be wayyy more stressful than I originally thought it would be as my friend, Emma, and I were in charge of designing the poster, sorting out the ticketing system which was IMMENSELY complicated as there were banks and PayPal involved, sorting out the programmes, the online Facebook event and the serving of drinks in the interval. Emma and I had many stressful late nights, intense marketing meetings and angry moments as our producer became really demanding, at one point expecting us to walk to all of the colleges in Oxford (there are 38 in total!) to put up posters! I remember being really angry at all of the demands but looking back, it wasn't the producer's fault as she had a lot of responsibilities too. In addition, this week, I started my French Literary Theory module which I currently find the most difficult of all my papers. So, I was also busy and stressed with that!
However, despite the stressful build up, the shows went so well! We had three performances in total and the final show actually sold out, due to the awesome marketing of course ;). Camus' 'The Misunderstanding' is about a man who has been away from his home for many years. When he returns, his mother (who is now a widow) and his sister are making a living by taking in lodgers and killing them. 'No Exit' by Sartre is about three dead people in hell, who are punished by being being locked in a room together for all eternity. As you can clearly see, the plays were very cheerful(!)
One of my set texts for exam this year is Samuel Beckett's 'En Attendant Godot', another absurdist play that my college did a performance of last term that I also did the marketing for. Theatre of the Absurd really fascinates me because it's just so, well, absurd; it features characters that are trapped in incomprehensible worlds and characters that are often in pairs, 'pseudo-couples', who are trapped in clichés and routines. Some of the features of absurdist plays include religion, existentialism, comedy and nonsensical language.
Out of the two plays that we put on, 'No Exit' was my favourite. This is because I found the portrayal of hell so intriguing and one of the most famous lines from the play is "L'enfer, c'est les autres", which literally translates to 'Hell is other people.' Sartre is putting forward the idea that hell might not be the literal fire and brimstone and burning that everyone assumes it is; hell can be the company of other people because people can torture and hurt you, not necessarily physically but with their words. Chilling stuff.
I am studying Sartre's 'Qu'est ce que la littérature?' as one of my set texts for French Literary Theory and I really like his chapter on 'Pourquoi Ecrire?', which includes his views on why people write. It took me a very long time to understand this chapter (again, I emphasise the difficulty of reading philosophy and literary criticism in French- English is already difficult enough to understand!) and I eventually had a 'Eureka!' moment at half two in the morning. According to Sartre, we write because through it, we can express ourselves and be free as through writing, our ideas can take off and literature can exist forever as it is re-read by different audiences over the years. Pretty cool stuff, huh? Sartre's existentialism still drives me insane with how pretentious it can be at times. And he also had a very weird relationship with Simone De Beauvoir.
But that is a story for another day. Peace out.
However, despite the stressful build up, the shows went so well! We had three performances in total and the final show actually sold out, due to the awesome marketing of course ;). Camus' 'The Misunderstanding' is about a man who has been away from his home for many years. When he returns, his mother (who is now a widow) and his sister are making a living by taking in lodgers and killing them. 'No Exit' by Sartre is about three dead people in hell, who are punished by being being locked in a room together for all eternity. As you can clearly see, the plays were very cheerful(!)
One of my set texts for exam this year is Samuel Beckett's 'En Attendant Godot', another absurdist play that my college did a performance of last term that I also did the marketing for. Theatre of the Absurd really fascinates me because it's just so, well, absurd; it features characters that are trapped in incomprehensible worlds and characters that are often in pairs, 'pseudo-couples', who are trapped in clichés and routines. Some of the features of absurdist plays include religion, existentialism, comedy and nonsensical language.
 |
| Judgin' u |
I am studying Sartre's 'Qu'est ce que la littérature?' as one of my set texts for French Literary Theory and I really like his chapter on 'Pourquoi Ecrire?', which includes his views on why people write. It took me a very long time to understand this chapter (again, I emphasise the difficulty of reading philosophy and literary criticism in French- English is already difficult enough to understand!) and I eventually had a 'Eureka!' moment at half two in the morning. According to Sartre, we write because through it, we can express ourselves and be free as through writing, our ideas can take off and literature can exist forever as it is re-read by different audiences over the years. Pretty cool stuff, huh? Sartre's existentialism still drives me insane with how pretentious it can be at times. And he also had a very weird relationship with Simone De Beauvoir.
But that is a story for another day. Peace out.
Friday, 21 February 2014
5th Week Blues: Take 2
Yup, it happened again. I got hit by the dreaded 5th Week Blues again. This term, it was even worse than last term because I was missing my sister (she came to visit me over the weekend and left on Tuesday), I was ill and also under a lot of pressure from work and my various commitments. I felt so low that I had to bail out of Bridge with friends and if you know me, you'll know how much I love Bridge.
I decided to have a quiet evening in with myself instead, catching up on work, sleep and just reflecting. I had an early night and woke up this morning feeling so much better. I guess from time to time, everyone feels low; it's all about deciding to power through by dwelling on positive things, like the fact that I am alive and studying my dream course at my dream university. I said in my last post that I would have some exciting news and the news is that I have been chosen to be one of the new Christian Union reps for my college, starting from next term! I was totally pleased and touched to me asked but also very scared at the same time as being a CU rep has a lot of responsibilities that people aren't aware of! For example, I'll be in charge of organising Text-A-Toastie, Bible Studies, Prayer Meetings and Prayer Brunches to name a few.
I prayed a lot about it, asked for advice from my Dada, the Pastor, who was very chuffed about it all and I decided to accept the position. I'm really excited for all that Trinity term will bring with CU and by God's grace, it will be a great term and I can't wait! The 5th Week Blues were eventually conquered as I ended the week at a swing themed birthday party with my good friends. I learned two things at that party; 1) Good friends care about you, support you in your accomplishments
and will go the extra mile to ensure that you're okay when you're feeling down. 2) The Japanese Slipper is a very very good cocktail.
I decided to have a quiet evening in with myself instead, catching up on work, sleep and just reflecting. I had an early night and woke up this morning feeling so much better. I guess from time to time, everyone feels low; it's all about deciding to power through by dwelling on positive things, like the fact that I am alive and studying my dream course at my dream university. I said in my last post that I would have some exciting news and the news is that I have been chosen to be one of the new Christian Union reps for my college, starting from next term! I was totally pleased and touched to me asked but also very scared at the same time as being a CU rep has a lot of responsibilities that people aren't aware of! For example, I'll be in charge of organising Text-A-Toastie, Bible Studies, Prayer Meetings and Prayer Brunches to name a few.
I prayed a lot about it, asked for advice from my Dada, the Pastor, who was very chuffed about it all and I decided to accept the position. I'm really excited for all that Trinity term will bring with CU and by God's grace, it will be a great term and I can't wait! The 5th Week Blues were eventually conquered as I ended the week at a swing themed birthday party with my good friends. I learned two things at that party; 1) Good friends care about you, support you in your accomplishments
Friday, 14 February 2014
Valentine's Day
Last year, I did a very anti Valentine's Day post and you can find it here. It really makes me laugh how cold I was. This year, part of V Day was spent in a two hour class where we discussed Beauvoir's views on how women are oppressed by men in society. Ouch. I actually really enjoyed reading Beauvoir's 'Le Deuxième Sexe' and I would even go as far as to say that it's my favourite part of my compulsory philosophy unit. Beauvoir's main idea is that one is not born a woman; one becomes a woman due to the limits that are set by the patriarchal society, which benefits from keeping women in an inferior position in society. Some of her views, especially those on marriage and motherhood, are quite extreme and I don't agree with them but I would definitely recommend the book as it is often cited as what started the second wave of feminism. But I am digressing. This post is about V Day.From my last post, it is evident that I have had a 'change of heart' regarding the whole notion of 'dating'. I still stand by what seventeen year old Kenny said about it being stupid to rush into a relationship at a young age and being forced to do certain things due to peer pressure. However, I now firmly believe in the importance of 'speaking now', and not letting love pass you by. This is something that I have been trying to work on as I am very, very private person and few people are privy to my true feelings on things.
As always, it is as if my sister has read my mind and she has managed to sum up all that I'm trying to say here. I know I'm not making much sense at the moment but what I want to say about Valentine's Day is that yes, it is overly commercialised but one should still show love and this day gives people that opportunity to be bold. People should just try and be that bold and loving on an everyday basis. I had a lovely V Day with friends and I am so blessed to be surrounded by loving people.PS- I'm not really married; it's just a college marriage.
Thursday, 13 February 2014
Thursday, half eight.
So, this resolution isn't going too well...I blame second term stress and myself mostly for not reading enough during the holidays and signing myself up for too many social things. I have been incredibly busy and I'll have some very exciting news soon, but here's a poem that I wrote on one thing that happened recently. Enjoy!
"Hey, I know we only talked briefly, but I thought you seemed great,
Can we go for a drink, how's Thursday at eight?"
Flattered, shocked, worried all at once,
Is this what I think it means, or am I being a dunce?
What if it's awkward and what if I say the wrong thing?
Or he misunderstands me and thinks I want a 'fling'?
Stop it, I tell myself, stop overthinking it,
Just answer his message and take it bit by bit.
Thursday comes and brings many nerves,
But he made the first move and I'm new to this so I'll observe.
My worries turn out to be absolutely silly,
As we only buy one drink each, talk for nearly three hours, laugh and forget that it's chilly.
Am I finally ready to put myself out there,
To start accepting dates and opening up my 'cold' heart?
I don't know, but going for a drink at half eight seems like a good start.
"Hey, I know we only talked briefly, but I thought you seemed great,
Can we go for a drink, how's Thursday at eight?"
Flattered, shocked, worried all at once,
Is this what I think it means, or am I being a dunce?
What if it's awkward and what if I say the wrong thing?
Or he misunderstands me and thinks I want a 'fling'?
Stop it, I tell myself, stop overthinking it,
Just answer his message and take it bit by bit.
Thursday comes and brings many nerves,
But he made the first move and I'm new to this so I'll observe.
My worries turn out to be absolutely silly,
As we only buy one drink each, talk for nearly three hours, laugh and forget that it's chilly.
Am I finally ready to put myself out there,
To start accepting dates and opening up my 'cold' heart?
I don't know, but going for a drink at half eight seems like a good start.
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