Ma main man, Sartre.

  This week was an especially busy one for Kenny! I was on the marketing team for a college production; we put on a double bill of French absurdist plays in translation- 'Le Malentendu' (The Misunderstanding) by Albert Camus and 'Huis Clos' (No Exit) by Jean-Paul Sartre. Marketing turned out to be wayyy more stressful than I originally thought it would be as my friend, Emma, and I were in charge of designing the poster, sorting out the ticketing system which was IMMENSELY complicated as there were banks and PayPal involved, sorting out the programmes, the online Facebook event and the serving of drinks in the interval. Emma and I had many stressful late nights, intense marketing meetings and angry moments as our producer became really demanding, at one point expecting us to walk to all of the colleges in Oxford (there are 38 in total!) to put up posters! I remember being really angry at all of the demands but looking back, it wasn't the producer's fault as she had a lot of responsibilities too. In addition, this week, I started my French Literary Theory module which I currently find the most difficult of all my papers. So, I was also busy and stressed with that!

  However, despite the stressful build up, the shows went so well! We had three performances in total and the final show actually sold out, due to the awesome marketing of course ;). Camus' 'The Misunderstanding' is about a man who has been away from his home for many years. When he returns, his mother (who is now a widow) and his sister are making a living by taking in lodgers and killing them. 'No Exit' by Sartre is about three dead people in hell, who are punished by being being locked in a room together for all eternity. As you can clearly see, the plays were very cheerful(!)

One of my set texts for exam this year is Samuel Beckett's 'En Attendant Godot', another absurdist play that my college did a performance of last term that I also did the marketing for. Theatre of the Absurd really fascinates me because it's just so, well, absurd; it features characters that are trapped in incomprehensible worlds and characters that are often in pairs, 'pseudo-couples', who are trapped in clichés and routines. Some of the features of absurdist plays include religion, existentialism, comedy and nonsensical language.

Judgin' u 

  Out of the two plays that we put on, 'No Exit' was my favourite. This is because I found the portrayal of hell so intriguing and one of the most famous lines from the play is "L'enfer, c'est les autres", which literally translates to 'Hell is other people.' Sartre is putting forward the idea that hell might not be the literal fire and brimstone and burning that everyone assumes it is; hell can be the company of other people because people can torture and hurt you, not necessarily physically but with their words. Chilling stuff.

  I am studying Sartre's 'Qu'est ce que la littérature?' as one of my set texts for French Literary Theory and I really like his chapter on 'Pourquoi Ecrire?', which includes his views on why people write. It took me a very long time to understand this chapter (again, I emphasise the difficulty of reading philosophy and literary criticism in French- English is already difficult enough to understand!) and I eventually had a 'Eureka!' moment at half two in the morning. According to Sartre, we write because through it, we can express ourselves and be free as through writing, our ideas can take off and  literature can exist forever as it is re-read by different audiences over the years. Pretty cool stuff, huh? Sartre's existentialism still drives me insane with how pretentious it can be at times. And he also had a very weird relationship with Simone De Beauvoir.
But that is a story for another day. Peace out.

5th Week Blues: Take 2

  Yup, it happened again. I got hit by the dreaded 5th Week Blues again. This term, it was even worse than last term because I was missing my sister (she came to visit me over the weekend and left on Tuesday), I was ill and also under a lot of pressure from work and my various commitments. I felt so low that I had to bail out of Bridge with friends and if you know me, you'll know how much I love Bridge.

  I decided to have a quiet evening in with myself instead, catching up on work, sleep and just reflecting. I had an early night and woke up this morning feeling so much better. I guess from time to time, everyone feels low; it's all about deciding to power through by dwelling on positive things, like the fact that I am alive and studying my dream course at my dream university. I said in my last post that I would have some exciting news and the news is that I have been chosen to be one of the new Christian Union reps for my college, starting from next term! I was totally pleased and touched to me asked but also very scared at the same time as being a CU rep has a lot of responsibilities that people aren't aware of! For example, I'll be in charge of organising Text-A-Toastie, Bible Studies, Prayer Meetings and Prayer Brunches to name a few.

  I prayed a lot about it, asked for advice from my Dada, the Pastor, who was very chuffed about it all and I decided to accept the position. I'm really excited for all that Trinity term will bring with CU and by God's grace, it will be a great term and I can't wait! The 5th Week Blues were eventually conquered as I ended the week at a swing themed birthday party with my good friends. I learned two things at that party; 1) Good friends care about you, support you in your accomplishments

and will go the extra mile to ensure that you're okay when you're feeling down. 2) The Japanese Slipper is a very very good cocktail.

Valentine's Day

  Last year, I did a very anti Valentine's Day post and you can find it here. It really makes me laugh how cold I was. This year, part of V Day was spent in a two hour class where we discussed Beauvoir's views on how women are oppressed by men in society. Ouch. I actually really enjoyed reading Beauvoir's 'Le Deuxième Sexe' and I would even go as far as to say that it's my favourite part of my compulsory philosophy unit. Beauvoir's main idea is that one is not born a woman; one becomes a woman due to the limits that are set by the patriarchal society, which benefits from keeping women in an inferior position in society. Some of her views, especially those on marriage and motherhood, are quite extreme and I don't agree with them but I would definitely recommend the book as it is often cited as what started the second wave of feminism. But I am digressing. This post is about V Day.

  From my last post, it is evident that I have had a 'change of heart' regarding the whole notion of 'dating'. I still stand by what seventeen year old Kenny said about it being stupid to rush into a relationship at a young age and being forced to do certain things due to peer pressure. However, I now firmly believe in the importance of 'speaking now', and not letting love pass you by. This is something that I have been trying to work on as I am very, very private person and few people are privy to my true feelings on things.

  As always, it is as if my sister has read my mind and she has managed to sum up all that I'm trying to say here. I know I'm not making much sense at the moment but what I want to say about Valentine's Day is that yes, it is overly commercialised but one should still show love and this day gives people that opportunity to be bold. People should just try and be that bold and loving on an everyday basis. I had a lovely V Day with friends and I am so blessed to be surrounded by loving people.

PS- I'm not really married; it's just a college marriage.

Thursday, half eight.

  So, this resolution isn't going too well...I blame second term stress and myself mostly for not reading enough during the holidays and signing myself up for too many social things. I have been incredibly busy and I'll have some very exciting news soon, but here's a poem that I wrote on one thing that happened recently. Enjoy!


"Hey, I know we only talked briefly, but I thought you seemed great,
Can we go for a drink, how's Thursday at eight?"

Flattered, shocked, worried all at once,
Is this what I think it means, or am I being a dunce?

What if it's awkward and what if I say the wrong thing?
Or he misunderstands me and thinks I want a 'fling'?

Stop it, I tell myself, stop overthinking it,
Just answer his message and take it bit by bit.

Thursday comes and brings many nerves,
But he made the first move and I'm new to this so I'll observe.

My worries turn out to be absolutely silly,
As we only buy one drink each, talk for nearly three hours, laugh and forget that it's chilly.

Am I finally ready to put myself out there,
To start accepting dates and opening up my 'cold' heart?
I don't know, but going for a drink at half eight seems like a good start.